The Quiz
by Troublesome Dragon
Summary: America takes a Hetalia personality quiz and gets Canada. Chaos ensues.


The Quiz

Once again, a G8 meeting commences, and once again, England can't help but feel that not everyone is here. He says as much.

"I can't help but feel we are missing someone, again. Canada, are you here?"

Canada is not amused.

"Yes, nice of you to notice_ after_ Russia sits on me," His arms are crossed, and Russia has the decency to look embarrassed but says nothing.

" We already apologized last meeting," England explains, or at least, he vaguely remembers feeling sorry afterwards. He knows Canada is much less likely to call him out on it.

"No, you didn't. None of you did," Or not.

"It was very unfortunate," Germany says, looking over his papers. Canada's anger only seems to be increasing.

"After all the arguing, I just wanted to get out and eat," Italy admits sheepishly as small puffs of smoke leave Canada. Yao seems much less apologetic and much more annoyed that there is yet another delay.

"I am the one that convinced Russia to get off of you," China reminds him which does seems to cool Canada off a little as he mumbles a thanks.

"Sorry, way too many people yelling for me to notice you," Russia adds and Canada trembles in remembrance. To be fair, England doesn't think he'd appreciate being under Russia either.

"Je suis désolé, Canada. Britain and I were busy at the time," France raises an eyebrow suggestively. Britain takes the bait.

"Don't you dare make it sound dirty," he stands up indignantly and raises his fist. Before they start fighting like usual, Russia raises his hand.

"Hold on, I think America is missing," he says, and everyone's jaw drops. How the hell did they not notice?

"That's weird. He's usually the loudest. You'd think we'd realize sooner," England says, feeling that perhaps his inability to spot Canada is not a fluke. Maybe, he's just getting old. They all look at Canada expectantly. Canada crosses his arms defiantly. England rubs the back of his head, and says what they all are thinking.

"Canada, could you?" he asks, and Canada's quick to interrupt him.

"Oh, Why? Because I'm not important?" he says, and no one dares to say a word. So, England speaks up again.

"No, Canada, we're not suggesting anything like that. You live next store to him, and he's less likely to argue with you than me," This makes sense to the group who nod in approval. Italy may have been busy making devil horns behind England's back. Japan's been on the computer the entire time, ignoring the other nations. No one notices.

"Fine," Canada decides, thinking that it might be quick and painless for once. The plane ride is uneventful if tiring, but eventually, he makes it to America's house.

"America? . . . America?" he calls out, and America turns around, looking a little defeated and out of sorts.

"Hmm, oh, hey, Canada," he murmurs. Despite these signs, Canada decides to stay positive and press onward.

"America, you forgot about the meeting," he reminds him, but America has gone back to whatever preoccupied him in the first place.

"Dammit! Again?" he says, but Canada is sure that it has nothing to do with the meeting. If Canada is to get him out of the house, he will have to tear him away from whatever is distracting him.

"What are you doing America?" he asks, and much to his surprise, he turns around immediately.

"Okay, what I'm going to tell you is going to be shocking, but I just found out about this thing Japan made called Hetalia," he says, reminding Canada of a crazed conspiracy theorist. Considering this was America he was talking about, it wasn't a good thing.

"What?" he said. It didn't sound familiar.

"No time for questions," he shushed him, and Canada decided to let America talk.

"Anyway, once I got over the whole messed up portrayal of my revolution, I found these personality quizzes," he said, and it went over Canada's head. Maybe he should try mentioning the meeting again.

"But," he said, but America easily drowned him out.

"Aaand, it's led me to an identity crisis that only you can understand . . . I'm Canada," he said, face growing pale. That's it. He's gone insane. Canada didn't feel bad saying it anymore.

"No, America, I'm Canada," he said, hoping he was wrong. Finally getting that Canada was seriously confused, America grinned and pointed to the screen.

"Not according to this quiz," he said, and Canada took a look out of curiosity. Apparently, the quiz was designed to evaluate what country's personality the quiz taker had. Canada was going to have fun with this.

"You're Canada, eh?" he remarked idly. America's face flushed.

"Shut up," he said, and Canada took a deep breath. Revenge is sweet.

"Oh Canada, your home and native land," he sang, and America proceeded to stick his fingers in his ears and try and tune him out which even Canada could admit wasn't that difficult.

"La la la la la," he said repeatedly. Soon, Canada simply fell victim to incoherent laughter. Once he pulled himself together, he decided that it was probably best to snap his brother out of it, for the sake of everyone stuck at the meeting place.

"Fine, but come on, we have a lot of things in common. We both like pancakes, for one," he said, trying to show that it wasn't that hard for the computer to honestly mistake them for each other. Canada would never admit this to anyone else.

"It should have been obvious in retrospect," he said, growing more depressed. He patted his back.

"I'm sure it was just a fluke Alfred," he said, but America just shook his head.

"I took it more than once. The only time I had a different result was when I got Russia. It's when I decided to stop, " he let his head fall on the table afterwards.

"Okay, Alfred, if I take the quiz and show you how trivial the results are, will you go to the meeting?" he said, sure that the quiz results were inaccurate as hell.

"Yes, join us," he said in a creepy voice. Canada's lip twitched.

"Us?" he said.

"Tony, took it too, he got England. He's been moping in the corner ever since," he said, and indeed, the alien glared at him before he continued to mope in the corner.

"Okay then," he said, extremely creeped out. Sitting down, he started answering seemingly trivial questions while America watched his every move.

Thirty minutes later

"No, no, no, it has to be rigged. Half the time I got England and the other half I got France," he said in despair, triggering his identity crisis. America started to laugh. Canada narrowed his eyes, and America punched his shoulder.

"Dude," he said with a meaningful look. Then, it dawned on him, and he laughed too.

"Ha, actually, that makes total sense," he said which depressed America.

"I mean," he said, finding it hard to make the right excuse.

"It's okay, maybe, we were switched at birth, or-" he said, and Canada already knew where this was going.

"We're not going to the meeting are we?" he asked.

"Teach me about the homeland," America said, taking him by the shoulder with one hand and holding the other out for dramatic effect.

"Oh dear, something tells me that America convinced Canada to join him in whatever stupid thing he is doing," England said with a sigh. The room was quiet.

"I guess we're going to have to send someone else," he said, but eerily, England noticed all their eyes on him.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" he said, hell if he was going to get involved. Japan paused in his furious typing spree.

"Well, if I were to be perfectly honest, if we were to look into your role in the parental unit, you'd be the mommy," Japan said, making England gape. He snapped out of it quickly.

"Japan, I can't believe you'd say such a thing," he shouted indignantly. Japan shrugged and continued typing. France had to open his big mouth.

"Well, I certainly wasn't the mommy," he said, and that's all it took to elicit England's rage.

"I'll kill you," he said, lunging at him. Germany let his head press on the table and didn't get back up. Italy drew a cute kitty to cheer him up. No response. He wasn't sure what else to do. Sadly, he was running out of room to doodle too.

"Russia will go," he volunteered. Everyone immediately snapped to attention.

"No!" they all shouted.

"Italy will go!" he volunteered. It's not like they were actually doing something important.

"That's worse," Germany said, disappointing Italy. He didn't get off task _that_ often.

"Why don't you go, Germany? " he asked instead. Germany raised his head from the table.

"I'm sure that I could drag the two dummkopfs back with me, but can you promise me that the rest of you won't fall into madness while I'm absent?" he asked accusingly. No one said a word.

"That's what I thought," he said, before letting his head fall back onto the table.

"Fine, I'll go, or else we'll never get anything done," England finally relented.

"Very well, meeting adjourned until tomorrow," Germany announced, seriously done listening to the same arguments without their being the slightest chance of getting anything accomplished. At least, there was pasta to look forward to and whatever the main course happened to be.

"America, we've been at this for hours," Canada hissed, and America shook him. Where was his hockey stick when he needed it?

"Just take it one more time," he pleaded, and Canada glared at him.

"No, we all know it will be the same results," he said, not in the mood to indulge him anymore.

"Which is really weird considering the questions and answers keep changing," he said, scratching his head. England came through the door. Good. America could bother someone else now.

"What are the two of you doing?" he asked, and America didn't even bother with small talk.

"Take this quiz," he said, pointing at the screen.

"What?" he said, and Canada filled him in.

"He's obsessed over this personality quiz that he found," England absolutely blanched. Canada didn't know how England had not expect the delay to be something silly.

"Feel the peer pressure," America said, wiggling his fingers. England ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"Is this what all the fuss is about?" he said.

"It's more about the results really," Canada said, most of the questions were fairly simple, and if not for the results, America would have gotten bored by now.

"Have you two even slept?" England said, somewhat incredulous. He really shouldn't have gotten Canada started.

"I tried," he said, burning holes through America. Alfred dismissed his unhappy demeanor.

"Come on, it wasn't that bad. We watched hockey and bought donuts at Tim Hortons," he said, and Canada grabbed him by the shoulders.

"You made me drive to Canada for donuts and drive back without letting me sleep," he said, practically seething. England suddenly became aware of the quarrel he started and looked anywhere but at the two of them.

"But Matty," he said, and that was the last straw. Canada let go and stomped off into the living room.

"Canada is not happy," he yelled on his way out.

"Oh dear, he's talking in third person again," England said, leading to an awkward silence.

"Take the quiz England," America insisted after a few minutes.

"Why not, I don't know how you can have a simple quiz shake your confidence like that," England said.

Five minutes later

"France, bloody France?" England said, sure now that the thing was demented.

"It's spiteful," America said, glaring at the machine.

"For once, I agree with you," England said, tempted to try again. Canada stopped watching tv on the couch in order to save England.

"No, England. Don't get dragged into the madness. You're agreeing with America, for Pete's sake," he said, waving his hands furiously. England couldn't resist the allure.

"I'm taking it again," he said, followed by a silent yes from America and Canada giving up and going into the fetal position. America stared at him and poked him a few times. Canada only shivered.

"England, I think you broke Canada," he said, but England was busy deciding what his favorite color was.

"Mmmmapple," Canada whined.

Meanwhile

"Unfortunately, we cannot satisfactorily continue this meeting with three members missing," Germany said, after it became clear that yet again, one of the group had disappeared into the void that was America.

"Things are going down hill, vee," Italy said who had taken his doodled paper and made it into a plane.

"I'm starting to think it was a bad idea," Yao said, who now had indecipherable notes from all the sketches he had made in an attempt to ease his boredom(mostly landscapes.) It didn't work.

"I suggest we send France," Japan said, looking up from the screen momentarily. China looked at him wearily. He wished he could have brought his own computer, if only Japan and America weren't so stringent on copyrights.

"Why me?" France said who was simply balancing his pen on his fingers.

"Russia will go," Russia volunteered again.

"No, that won't be necessary," Germany said, on the group's behalf who had stopped caring after several days of simply sitting in the room, never mind if they were eventually allowed to leave. (It made people irritable.)

"It's never Russia's turn," Russia pouted, putting his iron pipe down.

"Italy will go. America's probably throwing a party or something," Italy said, knowing from experience that would be the most likely reason that the nations would ever stay with America for more than a few hours.

"If that's the case, I'll go to," Yao said, if nothing else, it would get him out of the room. Germany suspected mutiny on his hands.

"Both of you put your hands down, France will go," he said, pointing at France. The man pointed his nose up in the air and scoffed, obviously tired of being grouped together with the others because a few hundred years of close interaction.

"Nothing short of immediately cutting to me on a plane will get me to drag America, Canada and England back here," he said, crossing his arms. Germany gave him a scathing look.

France found himself on a plane.

"Damn them," he cursed.

"You sorry excuses for countries,(except Canada~.) Get to the meeting already," he said, marching in after a long flight.

"Must defeat system of algorithms machine is using to discriminate against me," England said who, like the rest, looked as if he hadn't slept in a while.

"Can you try and not crash my computer?" America said nervously at all the algorithms England was typing on the screen.

"Stop the madness France. I can't," Canada said, wearing a dew rag with the American flag on it?

"He seems twitchier than usual," France said, a little worried at how England twitched every few seconds. America seemed to have switched attire and was wearing a jersey with a Canadian flag?

"England's just upset that he's France," America said, accidentally spilling some of his Pepsi.

"Explain," France said, very confused and disturbed.

"It's the result he got on the quiz. He's gone all hacker," America said with mild disapproval.

"Quoi?" he said, unsure if he could drag them back in their current states.

"England stop for a minute and let France take the quiz," America said, and England obliged, getting into America's liquor cabinet. America watched wearily.

"Oh? This is what has you changing your culturally identity and England drinking in the corner," France said, finding the whole thing silly.

Afterwards . . .

"Ge-ggermany?" France said, flabbergasted.

"That's right France. The opposite of love and openness," America teased, having had time to calm down.

"That's not fair America," Canada said as he flipped channels.

"Canada, is this really the battle you want to pick?" America said exasperated.

"Never mind, it's not like the world is _melting _or anything while we waste our time with this," he said, but like always, no one heard him. France contemplated his results. America sat down next to Canada, leaving England unsupervised.

"Okay, I give up, Russia you can go," Germany relented. Russia stood, hitting the pipe against his hand enthusiastically.

"Finally," he said.

"Pasta?" Italy asked Germany, poking his shoulder.

"Yes Italy, you can declare a pasta break," he muttered and followed Italy out the door. Yao would have ran out the door just as fast as he could if he weren't concerned for Japan's welfare.

"What have you been doing this entire time Japan?" China asked, and Japan stopped to answer.

"Manipulating a website and hacking America's computer so I can watch everyone's reactions for fun," he said with a smile. Odd, Japan rarely partook in such things. However, China was bothered for a different reason.

"Why didn't you tell me? I was so bored," China said, sitting next to Japan.

"You can watch the finale," Japan said, loading the screen.

"Take it again, you're the only one who got results that kind of make sense,"America said, poking Canada. He knew better than to disagree at this point.

"Fine," Canada said. He would come to regret that decision.

"No, no, no, it can't be. It lies," Canada said, holding his face in his hands. America was the first to see the results. Here came the obnoxious laughter. It was worse.

"And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air," America belted as Canada shrank further into himself.

"Stop it," he said feebly.

"Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there," he said, causing France to chuckle and Canada to feign gagging.

"Be nice to your sister," England said in the corner. America's eyes widened. He knew that he was supposed to keep an eye on something.

"England!" he shouted, but England was past being scolded and took another swig.

"Oh great, France you were supposed to make sure that he didn't get himself drunk," he said, berating France instead. France was rather far gone as well.

"Oops, I was too busy thinking of the times when I took love for granted," he said, appearing to have depressed himself.

"America, Russia has come to hit you with pipe and drag you back to meeting. Oh, and everyone else can come too," Russia called out, but America completely ignored the implications and pointed to the computer. Everyone else groaned. England might have been groaning for entirely different reasons.

"Russia take this quiz so we can put this thing to rest. There is no way in hell that his results won't be Russia," he said, pumping his fist.

Five minutes later

"What do you know? I'm America," Russia said cheerfully, what a silly novelty.

"Why? Why do you hate me computer?" America dramatically held the computer screen and shook it.

You brought this on yourself, Alfred. A pop up on the computer screen responded.

"Oh crap, oh crap, it's self aware. It's freaking self-aware," he said, letting go and getting as far from it as possible.

"I don't understand all the commotion. My results make perfect sense. We have a lot of things in common," Russia said as America ran back and forth behind him. Canada couldn't help but have a problem with that.

"Maybe but I doubt you have more in common with him than I do," he said, but Russia shook his head.

"You may look the part, but you can never pass as an American. Russia can. We are two sides of same coin," Russia said, and Canada started an argument he never thought he'd start. They started arguing how much more American each of them was. Finally, it was time to settle it.

"England, which one of us would make a good America?" Canada said, to the unfortunately soused England. He looked at both uncertainly, before pointing at the tallest who he assumed was America.

"Ha, Russia wins," Russia said while Canada blinked slowly in disbelief.

"You've got to be kidding me," he screamed in frustration.

"Forget that, exorcize that freaking thing," America shook England. This obviously didn't help the already disoriented man. France had enough.

"Just turn the thing off," he said and did just that. They all stared.

"It's not hard," France said, and everyone seemed to magically come to their senses.

"We should get back to the meeting now," Canada said.

"Yeah," America agreed.

"Bubbles," England said from the floor.

"Maybe tomorrow," France said.

"Yeaaahh," America said.

"Russia will bunk with Canada and continue friendly rivalry," Russia said, encircling Canada.

"Maple," he said, in the panicked high pitch America recognized.

"Ah, yes, your equivalent to Alfred's cheeseburgers no?" Russia said, oblivious to Canada's distress. America decided he'd bail Canada out after he sent the computer back from whence it came. France watched questioningly.

"I really have to rethink my dependance on technology," he said and France nodded, before dragging England to a guestroom to rest.

"Where are you going?" China asked, after all was said and done.

"I'm framing you so it looks like you were responsible," Japan said, closing his lab top and heading out of the room.

"Japan," China yelled, but he indeed was the last one out of the room.

When they're finally together again . . .

"Now, I don't want to throw accusations around, but it was probably Japan," America said, surprising Japan. Kiku did, however, nod. America simply smiled.

"Okay, now that we know, let's get back to business," he said, and everyone was more than happy to get to actual work after days of not getting anything done.

And, this is how a G8 meeting finally gets started.

**Yeah, this started as an improvised skit, my cousin and I did. Therefore, it is only a silly story that I decided was worth documenting. It's also why all the personality are at their extremes as everything is played for laughs. So, hopefully you enjoy it.**


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